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Arturo Castro, Our Close Friend - Hollywood Handbook | iHeart

Hayes is saved from looking like a fool in front of guest Arturo Castro when Sean calls in from an airplane to review and help with the premise. The episode also promotes "Matchbox: The Movie" and bonus shows on Patreon.

Arturo Castro, Our Close Friend

Arturo Castro, Our Close Friend

Hollywood Handbook

Episode Description

Hayes is saved from looking like a fool in front of ARTURO CASTRO when Sean calls in from an airplane to review and help with the premise.

Check out Matchbox: The Movie on Apple TV this Friday, October 9th!

Get a Hat Pack Hat here!

Check out Sean and Hayes’s bonus shows at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook

Listen and watch on the iHeartRadio App!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.

Speaker 1 (00:05): I am, uh, I'm just so grateful. Speaker 2 (00:11): Oh, wow. Speaker 1 (00:11): Yes. Speaker 2 (00:12): Thank you. Speaker 1 (00:15): You're so funny. Uh, like I've seen you in so many things. Call me central show was great. Speaker 2 (00:21): Thank you. Speaker 1 (00:22): Uh, or very sad what happened to Comedy Central, but nothing to do with- It was my fault. No, no, no, no, no. It was a little- No, no, no. Speaker 2 (00:34): The timing was a little sus that my show happened at the very end of their tenure. Speaker 1 (00:39): So networks have things going on in their lives that we can never know. Speaker 2 (00:48): We never know the struggle that a network is going through. Speaker 3 (00:51): Yeah. Speaker 1 (00:52): And so when a network- Mm-hmm. Takes its own life. We cannot say, like, that was my fault. That was me. Speaker 2 (01:05): Well, I should have seen the signs, I guess. Speaker 1 (01:07): No, no, no! Speaker 2 (01:09): I could have been. Speaker 1 (01:10): Especially in a world like that, that's always laughing! Speaker 2 (01:14): But, you know, that's... Those are the ones! That's how it happens. Speaker 1 (01:19): Why would you ever think to say, hey? Speaker 2 (01:22): Hey, Comedy Center, are you okay? Speaker 1 (01:23): Are you okay? Speaker 2 (01:24): Because you seem fine. Speaker 3 (01:27): You seem great. Speaker 2 (01:30): I'm not very good at reading the writing on the wall either. I should have known when the snacks started getting removed from set that I was like, oh, that's an interesting new take on like the hungry artist of it all, which I do identify as. Speaker 1 (01:45): Yeah. And to put the snacks in a pit Why to like take the snacks and put them in a, just a pit. Speaker 4 (01:56): Yeah. Speaker 1 (01:56): Yeah. Speaker 2 (01:56): Yeah. And say one of you is coming out fed, you know, So it. Speaker 1 (02:01): Was for you, so you think it was to, oh, I see. I didn't understand how that made sense just from a budgeting perspective or even just like some kind of coping mechanism. But you seem to think that it was a trap for you. Speaker 2 (02:17): Survival of the fittest. Speaker 1 (02:18): It was to draw you and maybe one other. But you play all the characters. You play every single character. Speaker 2 (02:25): Well, that's why I was such a mind fuck, you know, because I had to battle- versions of myself internally. Speaker 3 (02:31): It's identity. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaker 2 (02:32): But I came out a better person. It's all Comedy Central did not. But I came out a better person. Speaker 3 (02:40): Comedy Central did not. Speaker 2 (02:40): Yeah. Speaker 1 (02:41): Comedy Central did not. Speaker 2 (02:42): But I love you, Comedy Central, wherever you may be. Speaker 1 (02:45): To come here at this moment, like to give your time to do this show at this moment is just incredibly gratitude for me. Yeah, thank you. I... Uh, I'm by myself. Speaker 3 (03:02): Oh yeah. Speaker 2 (03:03): Speak on that. Speaker 1 (03:05): Um, and for you to actually invite me to do that is the most gratitude I've ever been. Speaker 2 (03:18): Well, you know, I've learned from my mistakes with the aforementioned network and now I'm just here to listen. And be present. Speaker 1 (03:28): That is so good because I want to talk the whole time. Speaker 3 (03:31): Yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaker 2 (03:33): This is a visual medium, correct? Speaker 1 (03:34): I want to talk the entire time. Speaker 2 (03:36): Through my facial expressions, you will be able to tell what story I'm trying to tell. Speaker 1 (03:42): And Richie, you can turn his camera on. If you want to turn his camera on, I think that would be great. Oh, yeah, please. We don't usually do that, but I think for this one, I think his can be on. The story of the show right now, it's so interesting. Speaker 3 (04:02): Yeah. Speaker 1 (04:03): So we have ads on the show. Speaker 2 (04:05): Oh, okay. Speaker 1 (04:06): Yeah, yeah, yeah. Always. Speaker 2 (04:09): We all have to. Speaker 1 (04:09): Always, Adam. Speaker 2 (04:10): One for the meal, one for the reel. Speaker 3 (04:11): Yeah. Speaker 1 (04:13): Adverts. Speaker 2 (04:14): Mm-hmm. Speaker 1 (04:16): And this network does something called dynamic insertion. Historically, we've done work called host reads. Okay. Where- We get a little piece of paper and we look at the paper and we talk about the paper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaker 2 (04:31): Like Jiffy Lube, if you need, you know, like if you're feeling a little- And you. Speaker 1 (04:34): Say like, I went in there, didn't even have a car. They just worked me up. Speaker 2 (04:38): Yeah. Speaker 1 (04:39): Yeah, yeah. And I was in and out of there in 90 seconds. Completely- Completely changed. Speaker 5 (04:48): In oil. Speaker 2 (04:48): Yes. Speaker 1 (04:49): Yeah. Yes. And- Now, here they do something called dynamic insertion, which is where they take dynamite, real dynamite. Speaker 3 (05:03): Oh, okay. Speaker 1 (05:05): And they sort of blow it up next to the hard drive where the episode is. And that puts big holes in the episode. And they put the ad in the hole. I see. And that's the insertion part. You see, okay. Speaker 2 (05:21): Kind of like the pit where the snacks were. Speaker 1 (05:23): It's just like that pit. I see. Dude. It's exactly like that pit. The way you. Speaker 2 (05:27): Connected those two thought beautiful. Speaker 3 (05:29): Thank you. Speaker 1 (05:30): I did connect those. Speaker 2 (05:30): You landed that plane. Speaker 1 (05:31): It was me that connected those ideas. You're right. Incredibly. Wow. And it's ads for like, join this country's army, join this country's army. Oh, of course. Countries like Royal Guard, whatever. Speaker 3 (05:45): Yeah. Speaker 2 (05:45): My lifelong dream is to- To join a Royal Guard? Speaker 1 (05:48): Royal Guard. Speaker 2 (05:48): That would be so amazing. But just be the guy that's like standing there while people try to break me, you know? Speaker 1 (05:54): Yes. Speaker 2 (05:55): Like they're like, loo, loo, loo, loo, loo, you know? Speaker 3 (05:57): Make you laugh. Uh-huh. Speaker 5 (05:58): Yeah. Speaker 2 (05:58): Whatever. Because I will break easily. Speaker 1 (06:00): Yes. Speaker 2 (06:01): Which I find more entertaining than the guys that just stand there. Speaker 1 (06:04): You go viral. Speaker 2 (06:05): Yeah. Speaker 5 (06:05): Yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaker 1 (06:06): Again- The snickering guard. Speaker 2 (06:10): Yeah. The sheepish giggly guard. Speaker 5 (06:14): Yeah. Speaker 2 (06:14): The giggly guard. Speaker 3 (06:15): Yeah. Speaker 1 (06:15): The queen. Speaker 3 (06:16): No. Speaker 2 (06:17): Now, the king's giggly guard. Speaker 1 (06:18): Right. Speaker 3 (06:19): Yeah. Speaker 1 (06:19): Yeah. That's right. This is where we mostly do it for. I mean, like, you know, the ads that we get are mostly for the sultan. Speaker 2 (06:28): Ah, his royal highness. Speaker 1 (06:29): The sultan needs. Of course. Obviously to be guarded. Speaker 3 (06:32): Guarded. Speaker 2 (06:34): Not just physically, but emotionally. Speaker 1 (06:36): Yes, there's a lot of that. Speaker 2 (06:38): Who can he speak to when, you know, you're at the top of that hill? Speaker 1 (06:43): Yes, yes. Speaker 2 (06:45): And I do have in my back pocket many nonspecific accents that make people feel. Speaker 1 (06:52): Nonspecific would be great because people come in here and do really specific ones. Speaker 2 (06:58): That's very 90s. And I'm glad that's over with. The generic ones. It's our time now. Speaker 1 (07:04): Oh, my God. Speaker 2 (07:06): Whoa. Speaker 1 (07:09): We can't hear you. We can't hear you. We can't hear you, Sean. Speaker 3 (07:11): But he did do a shush. He did do a shushy. Speaker 1 (07:14): Be quiet. Here, let's put our headphones on. Speaker 2 (07:16): What you got there, Sean? Hey, bud. Speaker 1 (07:19): Oh, we still can't hear him. Speaker 2 (07:20): We can't hear. Speaker 1 (07:22): Oh, that's better. Speaker 2 (07:23): We can hear. Speaker 1 (07:24): Oh, there you go. Okay. Something went on. Speaker 5 (07:27): Hi guys it's sean hey sean i gotta be kind of quiet because i'm on a plane how's the show going how's the episode going. Speaker 1 (07:34): It's going well we haven't really gotten into the premise yet um. Speaker 5 (07:41): Okay great and i don't even know if i know what that is do you want to run it by me and i'll see if i have any ideas for it do. Speaker 1 (07:46): You do you want to be here for that or do you want to um Do you want us to wait until you're gone to do the premise, or what do you think? Yeah, any notes right off the top? Speaker 3 (07:55): I'd love to just hear the premise and see if I think it's funny. Speaker 1 (07:57): We were talking about iHeart. I was talking about how they dynamically insert ads in our show now. And something that happened this past week is Kevin went into the back end, and then he checked our stats for the episode. (08:21): and Kevin saw that they had changed the number of ads that they dynamically insert into each, into each little hole that they make. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaker 3 (08:30): Let me stop you, Hayes. Can I stop you? Speaker 1 (08:32): Yeah, yeah. Speaker 3 (08:33): I love this premise. This feels really funny. Speaker 1 (08:35): This is not organic. This is not actually the premise, but if you want to go. Speaker 5 (08:39): I had just said, no, I had just said I wanted to hear the premise, see if it sounded funny, and this sounds really funny to me. Speaker 1 (08:44): Yeah. I don't think this can be the premise. Speaker 3 (08:47): Oh, okay, okay. Speaker 1 (08:48): But, If you want to be here for this, look at that. Speaker 3 (08:53): What a nice day outside. Speaker 1 (08:55): It looks so beautiful there. Speaker 2 (08:57): Beautiful. Speaker 1 (08:58): Who are you sitting next to? Yeah, introduce them. Speaker 3 (09:02): Just a lovely couple. I don't know if they want to talk to the show, you know? Speaker 1 (09:06): Well, tell them that. Speaker 2 (09:07): Arturo Castro's here. Maybe they know some of my work. Speaker 1 (09:11): From Matchbox? Speaker 3 (09:11): Yeah, yeah. Let me do, I'm a little shy, but let me just do this. Are you an Arturo Castro fan? Speaker 4 (09:19): Whoa. Speaker 2 (09:21): Is that the pilot coming in behind? Speaker 1 (09:23): Did it? Speaker 2 (09:23): Oh my God. Speaker 3 (09:24): I've never seen a true Castro. Oh, Oh, wow. So respectfully, they're not taking the bait. And I think what's going on is I'm in a shy row. It's also an exit row. So I may get interrupted to ask if I'm like physically able to help. Speaker 1 (09:41): I have a question. Speaker 2 (09:42): Were they asleep before you said Arturo Castro or was a mere mentioned of my name? Speaker 3 (09:48): Enough. Speaker 2 (09:48): Cause like one lady looks fully passed out on her seat. Speaker 1 (09:52): She looks like she. Speaker 3 (09:54): Might be in trouble. Yeah. Um, no, it was the name itself. Speaker 5 (09:58): Yeah prior to that she had been pretty lively just to you know be transparent. Speaker 3 (10:02): I mean to get to be up in the. Speaker 2 (10:04): Sky it's my last name guys a lot of people may have fainted yeah still associated with fidel because. Speaker 3 (10:11): It's a steamy and i get it and that makes people faint. Speaker 2 (10:14): That makes people faint. His testosterone was such that, and his mark on history. Speaker 1 (10:18): They swooned. Speaker 3 (10:19): Yeah. By the way, Arturo and the cigar smoke. Speaker 2 (10:22): And the cigar smoke. So yeah, he was hazardous for health all around. Speaker 1 (10:24): So they're smelling that from the plane. Speaker 2 (10:27): Every time you say Castro three times. Speaker 5 (10:30): Smell is the sense most closely related to memory. And I think that like just hearing that name, it really just. Speaker 1 (10:37): Evokes a lot. Speaker 3 (10:37): Evokes a lot. Speaker 1 (10:38): And it makes them go to bed on the plane. Brave of you. Speaker 2 (10:40): Thank you for keeping my family name alive. Speaker 3 (10:44): That way, brother. Speaker 2 (10:45): You know, he was a misunderstood man. Speaker 1 (10:47): Very misunderstood. But, boy. Speaker 3 (10:50): Were you a fan? Speaker 1 (10:52): Oh, no, you were. Speaker 3 (10:52): Yeah. Speaker 2 (10:53): Oh. Speaker 3 (10:54): I thought somebody was a fan. Speaker 1 (10:55): Somebody was coming back. Someone was coming back to say that they were not a fan. Specifically. Wow, interesting. He did ask if there were any fans there. Speaker 2 (11:02): Again, I do feel that this is communism related. Speaker 1 (11:05): Just someone coming back from 10 rows up. Speaker 3 (11:07): Yeah. Speaker 1 (11:08): Sorry. Speaker 2 (11:08): Excuse me. Couldn't help but hear back here. Some of the stuff plays with me. Some of it doesn't. Speaker 1 (11:16): And then leaves. Speaker 2 (11:17): That was nice of them to give such a. Speaker 1 (11:19): To have tried so much of it. Speaker 3 (11:21): It seemed really cool. Speaker 1 (11:22): Yeah. Speaker 2 (11:23): Yeah. Speaker 1 (11:24): And they didn't say what stuff played or. They didn't say what stuff played or what didn't. What they liked. Yeah, what they liked. Speaker 2 (11:30): Because this could be an. Speaker 3 (11:31): His early stuff. Speaker 5 (11:32): Oh. Speaker 1 (11:33): That played. Speaker 3 (11:33): Because he liked his early stuff. Speaker 2 (11:35): I see. Speaker 1 (11:35): Broad City maybe. Would you call that early? Speaker 2 (11:38): I mean, like, I mean, that's, well, it doesn't get much earlier than that. Right. Speaker 5 (11:45): Right. Speaker 2 (11:45): You know, I mean, unless you saw when I was. Speaker 1 (11:49): A host of, uh, that's why they call it BC. Speaker 4 (11:51): Yeah. Speaker 3 (11:52): Yeah. Speaker 2 (11:52): Before Castro. Speaker 3 (11:54): Okay. Speaker 1 (11:55): Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 2 (11:56): You see? So, yeah, when I was, uh, I was, uh, like, no, I was like, uh, the Carson daily of Guatemala. So I had a, I used to host a TRL type show in Guatemala. Speaker 1 (12:09): So that was definitely BC. And very useful for putting people to sleep because it's on so far past bedtime. Speaker 2 (12:19): It was a 4 a.m. It was a 4 a.m. Speaker 1 (12:21): And it was live. Speaker 2 (12:23): So not a lot of people were requesting music. They were making other requests. Speaker 1 (12:28): Like, how do I get down? You know, I'm too high up. Speaker 2 (12:31): And I'm like, I don't. Speaker 3 (12:33): What is it? Speaker 1 (12:34): Oh, is that, can you take me. Speaker 2 (12:36): Higher by Creed? Is that what you're looking for? Speaker 1 (12:39): And they're like, nope. Literally the opposite of that. Speaker 2 (12:40): Can you take me lower? Can you take me lower? I don't even know what Creed's saying that, but at the time, you know, it was Spanish. Speaker 1 (12:47): It was Spanish. At the time, it was Spanish. Speaker 2 (12:49): At the time, it was Spanish. So I'm like, me puedes llevar higher. And I'm like, who is it? Speaker 1 (12:55): You know, I wasn't very. Speaker 2 (12:56): Good at picking the songs, but I helped a lot of people, I think. B.C., So thank that person for liking my early work of watermelon TRL. Speaker 3 (13:05): They're gone. I mean, I can't, I'm not going to go find them now. They're not. Speaker 1 (13:08): They came to find you. Speaker 3 (13:09): I'm in the window. I'm in the window. Speaker 2 (13:11): And once in the woman's past, like swooned still. Speaker 1 (13:14): So you can't. Yeah. Speaker 3 (13:16): Well. Yep. Speaker 2 (13:18): Yep. Speaker 3 (13:19): Still there. Really? Yeah. Speaker 1 (13:21): Yeah. It's public. Like you're in a public place on a plane. You should expect to be on a video podcast. Speaker 3 (13:28): Yeah. Speaker 2 (13:28): I know I always come camera ready whenever I travel. Speaker 1 (13:32): It's like, it's the law. You can put strangers on a plane on a video podcast and they have to be on it. Speaker 5 (13:39): Yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaker 2 (13:40): There's like this fine print. Speaker 1 (13:41): A lot of. Speaker 3 (13:41): Viral videos start this way. Speaker 1 (13:43): So many. Speaker 3 (13:44): Yeah. Speaker 1 (13:44): So many. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Kevin goes into the. Speaker 3 (13:51): But the premise... Kevin goes into the back end. Speaker 1 (13:54): He sees that they have changed the number of ads to 19 per hole. Speaker 3 (13:59): Yeah. Speaker 1 (14:00): And he thinks that maybe that's a mistake or something. That's like more than we've normally done. And so he takes it down to 14. Let's experiment with like 14 ads. Yeah. Per each hole in the episode. Speaker 5 (14:15): Yeah. Speaker 1 (14:17): And he gets an email. Speaker 3 (14:18): And there's a lot of holes in the episode, Arturo. Speaker 1 (14:21): We talked about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We talked about that. Speaker 2 (14:24): I was forewarned. Speaker 1 (14:25): Yeah, how they use real dynamite and they blow so many big holes in the episode. Speaker 3 (14:28): And that was one just now, yeah. Speaker 2 (14:30): Yes. Speaker 5 (14:32): Oh. Speaker 2 (14:33): No, that wasn't one. I thought I felt it. Speaker 1 (14:35): It's usually, it's not in a pause usually that they put the hole. Oh, they're just mid-sentence. They just pick the perfect moment in the middle of a word to put a big hole in there. Speaker 3 (14:44): If we have a good momentum going at all, that's. Speaker 1 (14:47): Where they aim. Speaker 3 (14:49): So.... Speaker 1 (14:51): He gets an email immediately after he changed his number from 19 to 14. And it just says seven days. And it's in an ancient font. Speaker 5 (15:04): Font. Speaker 3 (15:05): Papyrus? Speaker 2 (15:06): Papyrus? Speaker 3 (15:08): It's. Speaker 2 (15:09): Papyrus? Speaker 1 (15:10): It's even more ancient than Papyrus. Speaker 2 (15:12): Oh, old times Roman. Speaker 1 (15:15): Old times Roman. It's in English. Speaker 3 (15:17): Or you're old. Speaker 1 (15:18): Kevin can read it. He can barely read that. Hmm. So it's probably not old times Roman, but it was career old. Speaker 2 (15:27): Because times new Roman would be too new, I understand. Wow. Speaker 1 (15:32): So seven days. Speaker 5 (15:33): What I did, Arturo, is I took your joke and I changed it a little bit. Speaker 2 (15:37): Oh, I couldn't hear you because I'm on the deaf side, but tell me again. Speaker 5 (15:42): You had said Times Old Roman, and I said, oh, I can think of a font that has. Speaker 3 (15:48): The word new in it, and I can make it old. Oh, you did. And then A is almost required to support my version. Speaker 2 (15:55): Oh, I'm sorry I missed that the first time. Speaker 1 (15:58): It's newer. Speaker 3 (15:59): It's fresher. Speaker 5 (15:59): Yeah. Speaker 3 (16:00): Oh, man. Yeah. Speaker 2 (16:01): What a great, like, yes, Andy. Speaker 1 (16:03): No, it's okay. Speaker 3 (16:03): What we're doing here. No, no, no. This is how we build the show. Speaker 2 (16:06): The rapport. Speaker 1 (16:07): So we reach out to... Or Kevin reaches out to Jack O'Brien, who's like our boss here. And was like, hey, I just got this email that said like seven days. Like, what is that about? And Jack responds like, oh, I've never... I don't know what you're talking about. I've never seen an email like that before. And his email is also in that same... I think he like maybe forgot to (16:28): change it back. So it's like, I do think it probably was. Speaker 2 (16:32): The email is coming from inside the house. Speaker 1 (16:33): I think it probably was from him. Speaker 5 (16:35): But.... Speaker 1 (16:39): I mean, the upshot of it is we have seven more days. Now, two more days, actually, because, like, Kevin kind of takes a long time to, like, pass stuff through to us. Speaker 2 (16:50): To live or to have the podcast? Speaker 1 (16:52): To be alive. Speaker 2 (16:53): Ah, okay. Speaker 1 (16:53): Yes. Speaker 5 (16:54): Well. Speaker 1 (16:55): Not to live, really. Speaker 2 (16:57): To be alive. Speaker 1 (16:58): I wouldn't say we're living. Speaker 5 (17:00): Yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaker 1 (17:00): To exist. But we are alive. Oh, that would explain the flight. Speaker 2 (17:03): Are you going to settle your affairs with your family? Speaker 1 (17:07): Yeah. That would not explain the flight. That is not the premise. I just want to make clear. Speaker 2 (17:11): Okay. Okay. Speaker 3 (17:13): Yeah, I was curious. I didn't want to jump the gun like last time. Speaker 1 (17:17): No, no, no. This is not even close to the premise. Speaker 2 (17:20): Whoa. Speaker 1 (17:21): Nowhere near it. Uh... And so, you know, we say to Jack, like, hey, like, what can we do? Like, is there anything we can do? And he implied that if we invent a new monster for Halloween, that maybe we could figure something out. Speaker 3 (17:44): Not the drink. Speaker 1 (17:46): Not the drink. Speaker 2 (17:48): I am loving the specificity of the threat. Speaker 1 (17:50): Yeah. He said not the drink. Yeah. Speaker 3 (17:53): Yeah. Speaker 1 (17:53): Oh, oh, not the drink. Like that'd be too easy. Cause you'd be like, Oh, maybe that's his business. Speaker 2 (18:01): A bang monster collab, you know? Oh, that's another energy drink. Speaker 3 (18:05): Oh yes. Speaker 1 (18:06): Yes. Speaker 2 (18:06): Monster bang. Yes. Monster bang. Speaker 1 (18:09): Monster horchata. Speaker 2 (18:10): Monster horchata. Monster horchata. Speaker 1 (18:14): Monster horchata. Speaker 3 (18:15): That's giving Nick Wiger a song idea. Speaker 2 (18:16): Yeah. See, this is the type of song I should have played it for. Speaker 1 (18:20): Do you know Nick Wiger? Speaker 2 (18:22): I'm not familiar with his new work. Speaker 1 (18:24): It's fine. Speaker 3 (18:24): That's fine. Speaker 2 (18:25): Not familiar with his new work. Speaker 1 (18:27): He doesn't have any. Oh, okay, okay. Well. He did, he found something, and he stuck with it. Speaker 2 (18:35): Oh, good. Speaker 1 (18:35): You know what I mean? But it's old. It's very old. Speaker 2 (18:39): And do you think Monster Chata would be up his alley? Speaker 1 (18:42): Nah, he has no use for it at this point. Oh, okay, I understand. Speaker 5 (18:45): Yes. Speaker 1 (18:45): He does what he does. Speaker 2 (18:47): But Jack O' Lantern does. Speaker 5 (18:49): Yes. Speaker 1 (18:50): So Jack-O-Lantern does have, he, and that's very interesting. It's a very interesting clue that I did not realize that he has actually kind of like a Halloween creature himself. Why else would he want an announcement? Speaker 2 (19:08): A monster bang. Speaker 1 (19:09): No, what was it? Speaker 3 (19:11): So there's a power outage at the terminal and they're unable to pull the jet bridge. So they're going to let us know how long the delay will be, but we've made deep playing. Which would be great for the show. Speaker 2 (19:23): It's hard not to feel responsible for this. Much like with the aforementioned Comedy Center thing. Speaker 5 (19:30): I think prior to me shouting Castro on the plane, it was working really well. Speaker 2 (19:34): It seemed like you were about to taxi off. And then if it's me reading the signs. Speaker 1 (19:39): They were pulling the power. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The terminal swooned. Speaker 3 (19:42): They were pulling the bridge in and out. Speaker 2 (19:44): And then somebody heard the name of my ancestor, Fidel. Speaker 3 (19:49): And. Speaker 2 (19:51): I would like to apologize to you and to your fellow passengers. If you could put me on speaker, I would like to do it directly to them. Speaker 1 (19:57): What are they saying? Are they trying to contribute to the show? Speaker 5 (20:02): Well, now it's like more of an automated. So I didn't think you guys would want to hear that. But I guess it's being ground out. AT & T is providing free Wi-Fi. Speaker 3 (20:13): For Advantage members. I'm not an Advantage member. Maybe you could help me with that. Maybe Jack Bryan could help me with that. Speaker 2 (20:20): I mean, listen, I know a guy who can help you with AT & T stuff. Speaker 1 (20:25): You do? Oh, yeah. Mr. Speaker 2 (20:28): Castro himself. I happen to be. Speaker 1 (20:32): It's you? Yes, sir. Speaker 2 (20:34): Actually, if you do get on the Wi-Fi, the first face you will see is mine. Speaker 3 (20:39): Oh, wow. This is the most dramatic plane. I am willing to help you out. Thank you. Right. Speaker 2 (21:06): How are you willing to help? Speaker 1 (21:09): Deep body. Okay. Thank goodness. Speaker 2 (21:12): Yeah. Speaker 3 (21:12): Great. Speaker 5 (21:13): Yeah. Speaker 2 (21:13): You're not willing to help. Speaker 1 (21:14): I can tell right now. Yeah. Speaker 2 (21:16): You just, you're going to pretend to be a. Speaker 1 (21:18): But what are they going to do? You said you were. You clearly were not. Speaker 2 (21:23): I've just realized how big of an honor system this shit is. Like, they're just like, hey, you guys good? And they're like, yeah. Like, who says actually? I've never seen one person go, actually, I wouldn't trust me with anything related. Speaker 3 (21:36): Can I tell you something? Speaker 2 (21:37): Yeah. Speaker 5 (21:37): Arturo, that did happen on the way in. There was a woman who was in an exit row and... She did not understand the question and they had to re-ask like three times and then they finally pulled her to the side and I heard them go. Speaker 3 (21:52): Like, we're just going to put her in a different seat. Speaker 1 (21:53): Whoa. Speaker 2 (21:55): Never before have I heard that. Speaker 1 (21:57): Yeah. Wow. Speaker 3 (21:59): Here we go. Speaker 2 (22:01): I'm sure they like called ahead and be like, hey, this has never happened. What do I do with this lady? You know, like three people had to come. Speaker 1 (22:07): Like, I don't know. Speaker 2 (22:07): This is the first time somebody said no. They had to unseat them. Speaker 3 (22:11): They had checked her in. They had to unseat her. Speaker 1 (22:13): Wow. Speaker 3 (22:15): And her husband who did answer. Speaker 2 (22:16): Have you guys ever been on a plane where something really wacky happens before? Have you guys ever besides that? Speaker 5 (22:24): Never? Speaker 3 (22:25): Well, I'm always on, so I'm being funny. Oh, yeah. Speaker 5 (22:29): Yeah. Speaker 2 (22:30): Thank you. Speaker 1 (22:31): And I've been on planes with him. Speaker 5 (22:32): Yeah. Speaker 3 (22:33): Okay. Speaker 1 (22:34): Yeah. Speaker 3 (22:34): Yeah. Speaker 1 (22:34): Yeah. Speaker 2 (22:35): I feel that. Speaker 1 (22:36): Yeah. Speaker 2 (22:37): I would love to travel with you guys if that's ever an opportunity. Speaker 1 (22:41): Yes. Speaker 5 (22:41): Like we, we should go to Vancouver and probably find a role for you. Yeah. Speaker 3 (22:45): Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 2 (22:46): I do love, I do love that rainy, rainy Canadian city. Uh, very much. Um, I shot a movie called Tehran there. Speaker 1 (22:55): Tehran, Tehran, Tehran, Tehran. Speaker 2 (22:58): Yes. Speaker 1 (22:58): Yes. Tehran there. Big political. Yeah, Tehran. Yeah, exactly. Speaker 2 (23:06): His uncle. Tehran. And I spent like four months there. And I got to tell you, Canadians, not a lot of people know this. Really nice people. Speaker 1 (23:16): Really nice people. You could tell that that was Vancouver because of the glowing bikes. But they were riding those, like, kind of Canadian glowing bikes around. Yes. And wearing those little, like, Canadian helmets. Speaker 2 (23:30): Yeah, yeah, yeah. And speaking, like, you know, Canadian, like, algorithm. Speaker 1 (23:34): He's doing it. You can hear Sean doing it. He's only been there a few weeks. Speaker 2 (23:37): Yeah, he's glowing. Speaker 1 (23:38): And you can hear him talking in that sort of, like, T-Ron style robotic way. Speaker 2 (23:42): Yeah. It is catchy, isn't it? Speaker 1 (23:46): Do you think, is it, okay. I'm trying to like synthesize this, so we can get like multiple bites of the apple. We need to make a new monster for Halloween. He needs a role for his show. Which, you know. Speaker 2 (24:02): How about the T-Ron T-Rex? Speaker 3 (24:06): No. Speaker 1 (24:06): I'm gonna pass. Speaker 2 (24:07): Okay, well let's. Speaker 1 (24:08): It's only the first idea. Speaker 3 (24:09): It was an easy one for me too. Speaker 1 (24:10): That was the first draft. Speaker 3 (24:12): I know we're already not doing it. I'm gonna pass on my end as well. So that's two passes. Okay. Okay. Speaker 1 (24:19): Well, first draft. You know, it's first draft. Yes. Speaker 3 (24:23): I thought we were blue sky. But let's get rid of the ideas we don't like right away. Speaker 2 (24:27): Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought we were blue sky in this. Speaker 1 (24:30): I did too. I did too. But that was actually something that we had just said. So to me, like blue sky is like, we need to come up with something that we didn't just say a second ago. Speaker 3 (24:45): Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So, Arturo, if I went right now, how about the second-ago monster? Speaker 2 (24:52): Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaker 3 (24:53): How about to just say a second-ago monster? You'd probably be like, no, you're not really helping, right? Speaker 5 (24:58): Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaker 2 (25:00): Hollywood handbook. Speaker 1 (25:02): Hollywood handbook. Is there anything that, like, hasn't... I was trying to think, like, skin stuff, right? We did... Hairy. There's so many guys that have like hairy skin. We did scaly already. Is there a new kind of skin? I was thinking like cobblestones or something. Eczema boy. Speaker 3 (25:27): I was going to say rocks. Speaker 1 (25:29): Rocks. Speaker 2 (25:29): Yeah. Speaker 3 (25:31): Eczema boy. Has there been a Stonehenge monster? Speaker 1 (25:34): And is that that the monster is Stonehenge? Or is it Stonehenge? Speaker 3 (25:41): We finally know what it is. Speaker 2 (25:43): It's a monster. Speaker 1 (25:43): We've been wondering what it is. It's a monster. The entire thing is a monster? Speaker 3 (25:50): Well, one part would be the arms. One part would be the legs. Speaker 1 (25:53): Oh, so it's a dormant. Speaker 3 (25:54): Obviously the other stuff. Speaker 2 (25:59): Sorry, English is not my first language. What other stuff? What do you mean by other stuff? Uh-oh. You got stuck? Speaker 3 (26:08): Disgusting. Speaker 2 (26:08): Yeah. Speaker 5 (26:12): The parts we don't always talk about on planes. Speaker 2 (26:16): You see, I think it would be helpful for this session of like blue-skying it if you just kind. Speaker 1 (26:21): Of yelled it out. Speaker 2 (26:23): Butt cheeks, I see. Yeah, okay, so I see the stones and butt cheeks. Nice, thank you. That's going to be a no for me. Speaker 1 (26:32): You're going to pass. Speaker 2 (26:33): If I'm just being honest, and this is not retaliatory in any way, don't like a butt cheek. Stonehenge monster. Speaker 1 (26:40): You're going to pass on a Stonehenge monster where one of the rocks is the butt cheek. Yeah. Speaker 2 (26:49): Because the logic would be like two of the rocks together would have to be. Speaker 1 (26:53): There's just a lot. Speaker 2 (26:54): I have more questions than I have answers. Speaker 1 (26:56): It's hard to picture. And we do have to draw it as well. Speaker 2 (27:02): But no bad ideas and thank you for the submission. Speaker 1 (27:05): Thank you. Speaker 2 (27:09): Wow, they're real chatty Cathy's over the intercom over there. Yeah, hey, stay in your seat. Stay in your seat. Yeah, something about Miles. I didn't get all that. Did you get all that? Speaker 1 (27:24): No. Speaker 3 (27:24): Okay. Speaker 1 (27:26): What's a new monster? The newest monster we have, we actually got a new monster a few years ago. Incredible to be alive for this moment where we got a new monster. His name is Slenderman. Oh, yeah. We got a brand new monster. Speaker 2 (27:40): Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaker 1 (27:41): Who's famous. Speaker 2 (27:43): Famous one. Speaker 1 (27:44): And what's interesting about him is he is just kind of like a guy and he wears a suit and he like shoots people with a gun and it's like taking the people that we know from the world and- (28:08): Changing them is interesting when making them slender. Yeah. Speaker 2 (28:11): Right? Themes of body image here. Speaker 1 (28:16): Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The body. Survivalist in the wood. Speaker 2 (28:21): A little heightest. Speaker 1 (28:22): It's a little heightest. It's a little heightest, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Speaker 3 (28:25): It's a little. Speaker 1 (28:25): Heightest, isn't it? Speaker 2 (28:27): Like tall skinny people must have felt really. Speaker 1 (28:29): Yes, they have to hide. Speaker 3 (28:31): Like a really short monster. Speaker 1 (28:32): Yeah, a tiny, very short monster. Speaker 3 (28:36): A short, wide monster. Speaker 1 (28:37): Yes. A stubby man. Stubby man. Speaker 3 (28:41): Stubby man. Speaker 1 (28:41): Yes, stubby man. Stubby man. Who wears a bathing suit. You don't like the bathing suit? Speaker 2 (28:50): You see, the image it conjures up is very graphic. Speaker 1 (28:56): Oh, it is? Speaker 2 (28:56): I will say, it is easy to picture. It is easy to picture a short, stubby man in a bathing suit. Speaker 5 (29:03): I assumed we were going for body positivity by even responding to Slender Man at all. Speaker 1 (29:10): Yes. Yeah. Speaker 3 (29:13): So, I mean, I know you don't want to see what's inside the bathing suit. Speaker 1 (29:17): I didn't say it disgusted me. I said it was a graphic image. Speaker 2 (29:21): And by graphic, I meant just so I can visualize it. Speaker 1 (29:24): What kind of bathing suit are you wearing? Speaker 3 (29:27): I'm picturing. Speaker 2 (29:27): I'm picturing like a tiny, tiny baby suit. Speaker 3 (29:30): Oh, okay. Tiny, tiny. Speaker 1 (29:31): I was in a billabong, almost like board shorts, but with a mesh. Speaker 3 (29:35): Long board shorts long board shorts to. Speaker 2 (29:38): The calf yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah okay that changes things. Speaker 4 (29:42): You're picturing a little tiny tiniest tiniest of like most sort of um clingy material um which i you know it has nothing to do with this body type it just personally i don't like the European type speedo tininess that I can see outlines of stuff. Speaker 2 (30:02): So I apologize for bringing my own preconceptions to the concept. Now that we're talking board shorts, Stubman, you know, is a man. Speaker 1 (30:14): Stubby man is a man. He wears a bathing suit. It's not scary. It's not very Halloween. And it's also not a monster. That's the only issue that I'm like kind of seeing with this now. It is just kind of a little guy wearing a bathing suit. Speaker 3 (30:35): Just got a good announcement over here. Speaker 1 (30:37): What happened? Speaker 2 (30:38): You're moving? Speaker 1 (30:39): Oh, you said woo? Speaker 5 (30:41): Yeah, well, because people started clapping because the pilot came on, made a pretty good joke. Speaker 1 (30:45): What was it? Speaker 3 (30:46): He said, hey, parent, uh-oh, new announcement. Speaker 1 (30:52): This is really high drama. Speaker 2 (30:54): And I'm really loving it. Speaker 1 (30:55): I didn't know it was... Some of you can hear so much. Speaker 3 (30:58): Some of you can't hear at all. So I had two things. Speaker 5 (31:04): One is he said, so apparently somebody's going to run to Home Depot and get a generator so that we can get this bridge working. Speaker 3 (31:11): Then he went, no, I'm just kidding. Speaker 2 (31:14): Oh, that's good. Speaker 5 (31:15): Then he was there. They're figuring it out right now. It should be about 20 minutes later. Then another announcement came on when I started to talk and she went, for those of you with empty seats next to you, don't get too comfortable. Speaker 3 (31:27): Wow. Which is very threatening. Speaker 1 (31:30): What a thinly veiled threat. I was going to say. It's not very comforting. Speaker 3 (31:33): I'm going to come sit with you. I'm sitting with you. Yeah. I'm going to sit in every empty seat on the plane is what she's saying. Speaker 1 (31:41): Musical chairs. Speaker 2 (31:42): She's going to play musical chairs with empty seats? I also love that the good cop, bad cop thing. the entire plane you know be like here's a like little laugh moment and everybody else was like but. Speaker 1 (31:54): Wait this is the effect he has yeah I'm telling you it's the plane becomes so wacky when he's on there. Speaker 5 (32:01): It's so crazy when I'm on here you gotta get out of here with me oh. Speaker 2 (32:06): I bet the moment you went woo I was like that's a different plane experience. Speaker 1 (32:11): What did they ask what podcast are you doing what podcast am I doing yeah yeah Arturo Castro okay And what did they say that you said thank you to? They said, what podcast are you doing? Speaker 5 (32:23): They asked who the guest was, and then I got through most of the name, and then they said, never mind. Speaker 1 (32:28): But we heard you say thank you. Speaker 3 (32:29): I guess I don't say thank you to never mind. Speaker 1 (32:30): So maybe it wasn't the last name after all. No, no. Speaker 2 (32:33): Maybe it was the way you said thank you. Speaker 1 (32:36): Thank you. Speaker 2 (32:37): You know, like I did see a little con. Speaker 5 (32:38): They did say as they were moving by, normally I love the show. Speaker 3 (32:43): So that's where it's saying thank you to. Speaker 2 (32:45): I see. Speaker 3 (32:46): I see. I see. Speaker 2 (32:47): And then they came back. And then you had a chance to tell her who was on. Speaker 3 (32:53): But not this one. Speaker 1 (32:54): I see. Oh, she's right there. They came back again to say, but I don't like this one. But you know what? Speaker 2 (32:59): We saw this coming because she did say, if you have an empty seat next to you, don't get too comfortable. Speaker 1 (33:03): Is this the same person? She's going to start. Is this the flight attendant? Speaker 3 (33:07): I can't tell any of these people apart. Can I be honest? Speaker 2 (33:10): Yeah, let's be honest. Speaker 1 (33:12): Kind of like plane people, is what you're saying. When I'm on a plane, it's all plane people. It's just like, these are plane people. Speaker 3 (33:19): You may as well spell it P-L-I-N. Speaker 1 (33:21): P-L-I-N. Speaker 2 (33:22): That's a great joke. Yeah, it's right there. Speaker 4 (33:29): Yeah. Speaker 3 (33:31): What else about the premise? Speaker 1 (33:32): So, monsters. Speaker 3 (33:34): Oh, we are done. Speaker 1 (33:34): That's a new monster. Is there any in Matchbox? Speaker 3 (33:38): This is a movie. Speaker 1 (33:40): This, like, is a big movie. Speaker 2 (33:42): Man, I was having so much fun, I forgot what we were here for. Speaker 1 (33:46): John Dinner is in it, yes? Speaker 2 (33:47): John Dinner. Hey, very nice. Very nice. Spanish reference. Speaker 1 (33:51): Thank you. Speaker 3 (33:51): Well done. Speaker 1 (33:52): Well done. Speaker 2 (33:53): Yes, John Cena is in this movie. There's a lot of action, a. Speaker 3 (33:58): Lot of heart. Speaker 2 (33:59): Can I say it? Speaker 3 (33:59): A lot of heart, a lot of hijinks. Speaker 2 (34:02): Kevin Hart is. Speaker 1 (34:04): In it as well. Speaker 2 (34:05): He passed, but not unfortunately because then I got his role. Speaker 3 (34:07): Oh, my God. Speaker 1 (34:07): I'm so sorry. I really would have thought I would have heard that. Speaker 3 (34:11): Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought I would have heard it. Yeah, Kevin Hart had passed. That's a pretty big star. Speaker 1 (34:16): Yeah. Well, yeah. Speaker 2 (34:18): Yeah, they said, who can we get if not Kevin Hart? I raised my hand, and the next thing I know, I'm in Budapest. Speaker 1 (34:27): Oh, my God. Speaker 3 (34:27): Budapest. Speaker 1 (34:28): You really were there, if you say it like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how people signal that they actually did go there. Budapest, not Budapest. Speaker 3 (34:35): No. Speaker 2 (34:35): Okay, it's not a pest that we're trying to. Speaker 1 (34:37): Get rid of. It's a pest. Speaker 2 (34:37): Leguizamo, it's- Yeah, yeah. Speaker 1 (34:40): No, no, no. Speaker 2 (34:40): Seminole movie. Speaker 1 (34:41): What am I, watching a Leguizamo movie, and I'm going to Budapest? Speaker 2 (34:45): Budapest, that's right. Speaker 3 (34:49): I'm getting some big coughs behind me. Should I put a mask on? Speaker 2 (34:54): I think he's just free balling, dude. Just double it. Speaker 3 (35:00): I mean, that's the new monster, isn't it? Speaker 1 (35:02): The new monster. This is the COVID-19 novel coronavirus. Speaker 3 (35:07): I mean, is that the monster? Speaker 1 (35:10): I mean, it's got us hiding in our homes like the last house. It's exactly like The Last House. The Last House. And The Quiet Place. Speaker 2 (35:22): It was very quiet. Speaker 1 (35:23): Cover your mouth. Speaker 2 (35:24): Yeah, yeah. Except at 8 p.m. when you should bang your pots or 7 p.m. to make a lot of noise. So it was very restrictive on when the noise was happening, but confusing. It's a confusing time. Speaker 5 (35:38): You know, maybe Stubby Man is holding like a little hypodermic needle or something. Speaker 1 (35:45): Or an aerosol. Speaker 2 (35:46): Right? Speaker 1 (35:46): Like an aerosol. Speaker 3 (35:47): To inject us. Speaker 1 (35:48): Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stubby Man is giving us the vaccine. Is that what you're saying? And you're saying that he's giving an aerosolized vaccine? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I thought that he's giving you COVID. What I liked was. Speaker 3 (36:00): That it could be either. Speaker 1 (36:01): It could be either. Speaker 5 (36:03): I like that it could be either. Speaker 2 (36:05): Both camps can come see. Both camps can come see. Speaker 3 (36:08): I see. I don't want this monster to be politically divisive. I don't think that's going to help us in our lawsuit against Jack O'Brien. Speaker 2 (36:18): But witnessing in person what a great uniter you are is, wow. Speaker 1 (36:24): To get the camps together, finally. Speaker 2 (36:26): Not a lot of people can these days. Speaker 1 (36:27): No, they cannot. Speaker 2 (36:29): This man on the emergency row, he's got you in an emergency. And if you don't know which. Speaker 3 (36:34): Camp to be. I'm reaching across the aisle from the window seat. Oh. I'm like Slender Man. Speaker 1 (36:40): Oh, yeah. Speaker 3 (36:41): Got that long arms. I'm messing around. Speaker 5 (36:44): People are like, people, I don't know if you can see, people are cracking up over here. Speaker 2 (36:49): People are, yeah, there's definitely commotion. Speaker 1 (36:52): He's winning the room back. Who's the movie about? Speaker 3 (37:02): Matchbox? Speaker 1 (37:03): Yeah. Speaker 3 (37:04): It's about a car? Speaker 2 (37:06): It's about the friends we made along the way. Speaker 3 (37:09): Is the car small? Speaker 1 (37:10): Along the way to what? Because usually we say that after like. Speaker 3 (37:13): No, no, no. Speaker 5 (37:14): Oh. Speaker 1 (37:15): You start. Speaker 2 (37:15): That's how this movie starts. It starts along the way. You know how you start sometimes with the end in movies where you're like, you're probably wondering how I got here. Speaker 5 (37:25): You know? Speaker 1 (37:26): Yes. Speaker 2 (37:26): That's what we do. And in the end, the power of friendship saved us. And then the movie happens. Speaker 1 (37:31): And then the movie happens? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaker 2 (37:34): The movie, the cars aren't small in this. But it's about a group of friends that used to play with the small cars. Speaker 1 (37:40): Okay. Speaker 2 (37:41): That now go on this multi-country super spy adventure. Speaker 1 (37:46): It's Tag. Speaker 3 (37:47): It's Tag. Speaker 2 (37:48): Tag, the movie Tags? Speaker 1 (37:50): That's what it is. Speaker 3 (37:51): It's a semi-tag. Speaker 2 (37:53): Well, I'm sure it takes notes from Tag. Speaker 1 (37:55): Because that already is a movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaker 3 (37:59): I wouldn't mind having another one. Speaker 5 (38:01): Adult group of friends used to play a game as a kid. Speaker 3 (38:03): Now they're doing it in a much, you know, higher stake adult world. Speaker 2 (38:06): I hadn't seen the similarities until this moment. And, you know, my friend directed Tag, and I didn't realize how much from him I took. Jeff Tomsik. And I'm sorry if I plagiarized anything, Jeff, but this movie, maybe it's an homage to Tag? Speaker 1 (38:22): I know Jeff, too. Speaker 3 (38:23): Thank you, Tomsik fans. Speaker 1 (38:25): Hey, Tomsik. Tomsik. Florida man. Speaker 2 (38:29): Florida Man, yeah. Speaker 1 (38:30): Anyone check out Florida Man? Speaker 2 (38:31): That was a fucking trip. Holy smokes. Speaker 3 (38:34): What do you know? Speaker 1 (38:35): Sam Richardson. Did you watch it? A little, yeah. Sam Richardson was. Speaker 2 (38:39): In an episode of Florida Man. He's a very funny person and he's in Matchbox as well. Speaker 1 (38:43): Yeah, we know Sam too. Speaker 2 (38:45): You know? Speaker 1 (38:45): Breaking news. You know a lot of people. Speaker 3 (38:48): Sam's funny. Speaker 2 (38:48): You know a lot of people. Speaker 3 (38:49): This is why we get you hyping up Sam Richardson. Speaker 1 (38:53): Like he needs it. Speaker 3 (38:54): Finally, someone willing to go out on a limb and. Speaker 1 (38:56): Say Sam's funny. Speaker 2 (38:57): I'm willing to put My career on the line and say Sam is really funny. And John, he's really buff. You know, not a lot of people talk about his. Speaker 1 (39:07): And so you are saying what I'm hearing is that Sam is not buff. And that John is not funny. Sam knows karate. Speaker 2 (39:19): I see where you're going with that. Speaker 5 (39:20): Wow. Speaker 1 (39:22): All right, that's where you went. Speaker 3 (39:23): Listen. Speaker 1 (39:24): You went there. I'm nothing if not controversial. Speaker 2 (39:26): Yeah, I thought, you know what? Speaker 3 (39:28): This episode's actually becoming good. Speaker 2 (39:30): Yeah, I thought, you know what? We don't have enough of the plane content. And I said, let's throw controversy out there. Speaker 1 (39:37): And the cars are not small, you said? Speaker 2 (39:39): Not by the time we drive them. Speaker 1 (39:41): They get big. By the time you drive them, they become big. Are you small in the movie? It is a. Speaker 2 (39:51): You see, we thought we were going to go... What was that Matt Damon film called? Speaker 1 (39:55): The Matt Damon film was called Shrinking Private Ryan. Yeah. Speaker 2 (40:06): Yeah, that's it. I have it in criteria. Speaker 3 (40:09): Honey, I Shrunk the Zoo Owner. Speaker 1 (40:10): Honey, I Shrunk the Zoo Owner. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaker 2 (40:16): I remember that one. Speaker 5 (40:18): So this. Speaker 1 (40:20): You notice. You change it just a little bit. Speaker 2 (40:22): Just the tiniest bit. Speaker 1 (40:26): And now it's the whole. Speaker 2 (40:29): The whole premise changes. Speaker 1 (40:33): But the cars are not. It's really. Speaker 2 (40:37): I don't know if you guys played Matchbox Cars when you were a kid, but it was really incredible. Speaker 1 (40:43): I thought I did. I thought I did. But now you're telling me they weren't small. Speaker 5 (40:50): Yeah. Speaker 1 (40:50): And that I wasn't as bad. Speaker 2 (40:52): You've been big the whole time. Speaker 3 (40:54): It's Mandela Effect. Speaker 1 (40:56): Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaker 2 (40:57): Bernstein Bears? Speaker 1 (41:00): Mm-hmm. Speaker 3 (41:01): Yeah. Speaker 2 (41:02): Luke, I am your father. Speaker 3 (41:03): Bernstein. Mm-hmm. Speaker 2 (41:05): Anyway, so we, as friends, go on this adventure that eventually we get to drive big versions of the cars that we used to play with as a kid, which were small. Speaker 4 (41:14): Mm-hmm. Speaker 2 (41:15): So it's two different cars. Speaker 3 (41:16): Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Speaker 1 (41:19): And did they let you honk the horn? Speaker 3 (41:21): Oh, yeah. Speaker 2 (41:22): That was a big part of my contract. Speaker 1 (41:24): That you were allowed to honk the horn? Speaker 2 (41:27): Sound department hates to see me coming. Speaker 1 (41:33): I mean, seeing stuff in general. Speaker 3 (41:35): I've been embarrassed to see... Excuse me. Speaker 5 (41:37): I've been embarrassed to see embarrassed observations. Speaker 3 (41:42): That's different from the spelling one that everyone talks about. Okay. So the. Speaker 5 (41:47): you know, there's a ton of these books and the kids like go to school. And so like, you know, there'll be a new girl at school named like Susie McGrizzle or whatever. Speaker 1 (41:55): Yeah. Speaker 2 (41:56): Or like Susie McGrizzle. Speaker 1 (42:00): Like, yeah, these. Speaker 3 (42:02): Will be the names. Speaker 1 (42:02): Okay. Speaker 5 (42:03): But the brother and sister bear are the names of the two main bears. And then like mama and papa bear and their name is sister bear like at school. Speaker 3 (42:15): But everyone else, I mean, somebody will be named like too tall or whatever. Speaker 5 (42:19): So I guess it's still like a label of sorts, but everyone else really has like names. Speaker 3 (42:25): And then their names are brother and sister. Speaker 5 (42:27): Talk about main character syndrome. Speaker 1 (42:30): Totally. Their names, their name is actually sister and bear. And there's other, there's so many other bears in the book. Speaker 3 (42:39): What do you think the baby's name is? What do you think the baby's name is? Speaker 1 (42:44): Probably Uncle Bear? Speaker 2 (42:48): Yeah. Yeah, Uncle Bear. Speaker 1 (42:50): No, Honey. Its name is what? Speaker 3 (42:53): Honey. Honey. Speaker 2 (42:54): No way. Speaker 3 (42:55): Mama, Papa, brother, sister, and a baby? Honey. Speaker 2 (42:59): They named a baby what they like to eat? Speaker 3 (43:02): Yeah. Speaker 5 (43:02): Whoa. And then there's one where brother talks about how he got in trouble once for eating honey in bed, and you're like, you can't do this. Speaker 3 (43:11): Hmm. Speaker 1 (43:12): Hmm. Speaker 2 (43:15): Maybe that's a real monster. Speaker 1 (43:19): Oh, that would be a good way to accomplish the premise, if we could. Let's see if we can. You're saying the real monster is. Speaker 3 (43:33): Brother Bear. Speaker 1 (43:33): Brother Bear for... Eating his brother. Eating his brother. Sister. Speaker 3 (43:41): Sister. Speaker 1 (43:42): Sister. The babies. Speaker 3 (43:46): Nice of you to assume that all babies are men. Yeah. Speaker 2 (43:50): Well, I never read that book. Speaker 3 (43:52): Circling back to maybe Arturo being the monster. Speaker 1 (43:54): It's like the movie Children Are Men. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that was like a sci-fi premise. Speaker 2 (44:00): Yeah, yeah, yeah, by Cuaron. Speaker 3 (44:01): That all children are men. Speaker 1 (44:03): So good. Speaker 2 (44:05): Amazing. Dystopian future. Speaker 1 (44:08): The movie is a cartoon? Speaker 2 (44:15): Children or Men? Speaker 1 (44:17): This movie? Speaker 2 (44:19): The Children or Men movie? Yeah, well, there was an animation aspect to it. Speaker 3 (44:23): Smashbox? Smashbox? Speaker 1 (44:25): Matchbox. Speaker 2 (44:25): Yeah, no, it's a live action. You get to see us all. Speaker 4 (44:29): Yeah. Speaker 1 (44:30): I wish I could see it. I will be dead in two days. If you don't find a monster name. When does it come out? Speaker 2 (44:36): October 9th on Apple TV. You'll be dead by then? Speaker 3 (44:39): Will you be dead by then? I won't say October 9th. Speaker 1 (44:43): Put me down when September ends. This is the message that we've gotten. Jack O'Lantern. Goodbye. Hollywood ham.

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The Boys on StraightioLab: "Talking About Something You Almost Did"

October 1, 2026

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Played

Enjoy this episode of Sean and Hayes on past guests George Civeris and Sam Taggart's podcast StraightioLab! Get a Hat Pack Hat here! Check out Sean and Hayes’s bonus shows at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook Listen and watch on the iHeartRadio App! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mark Duplass, Our Close Friend

September 28, 2026

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Played

The Boys are joined by MARK DUPLASS, who walks them through an episode of The Creep Tapes that soon starts to become all too real... Check out The Creep Tapes on Shudder/AMC+ now! Get a Hat Pack Hat here! Check out Sean and Hayes’s bonus shows at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook Listen and watch on the iHeartRadio App! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Whitmer Thomas, Our Silly Voices Friend

September 21, 2026

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Played

The Boys allow WHITMER THOMAS to return and show off a few of his new impressions. Check out Whitmer's special, Whitmer Thomas: Terminal Crew of Dudes,on HBO Max now! Get a Hat Pack Hat here! Check out Sean and Hayes’s bonus shows at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook Listen and watch on the iHeartRadio App! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Originally published on iheart.com